The BIG day

There's nothing like an awkward moment between a husband and wife. There we are, standing in the bedroom looking at each other, knowing what we have to do. For some reason, there seems to be a lot of pressure put on you. So standing there, cup in one hand and, well you know what, in the other hand. I suddenly become overwhelmed with a nervous giggle which immediately turns into uncontrollable laughter. (This does not go over well with the hubby.) I determine that I am in no mental state to be helping him with his "deposit." So I leave my man alone to do what men do best. Finally, after what seems like a lifetime, my husband appears from the bedroom, cup in hand. He seems to be a bit distressed over the amount of his "deposit." "Is it too much?" "Is it too little?" I tell him there is no time to analyze the "deposit." We have exactly 60 minutes to get his sample to the lab. So we hit the road like Jeff Gordon rounding turn four. At the advice of my doctor, I gently hold the "deposit" under my armpit to keep it as close to body temperature as possible. I continue to laugh and giggle all the way to the hospital. My husband, who doesn't find this very amusing, tends to give me a dirty look every few minutes. We arrive at the hospital and my husband refuses to carry HIS sample inside. As if I carry it, no one will know where it came from. If I could make those "deposits" on my own, I sure wouldn't need him. So after arguing with a receptionist about letting me run frantically down the hall to the lab, our "deposit" is made with five minutes to spare. Once in the car, my husband seems a little more relaxed until he starts to analyze what the lab techs may find wrong with his little guys. With some reassurance from me, he finally lets it go.

A few days later, I receive a message from my doctor saying that the hubby's little guys are just fine. So it's all me, lovely. The doctor tells me that she is going to prescribe me a hormone to take. I am told that it will be a gel that is inserted vaginally. I am instructed to start the hormone on day 17 of my cycle and continue taking it once a day until I either start my period or get a positive pregnancy test. So 14 months after our journey began, I have a box full of weird looking plastic applicators containing a magical solution to all of my problems.