Little girls dream big. Doesn't every girl dream of a husband, a house with a little white picket fence and two and a half kids? The perfect man, perfect wedding, perfect house and beautiful children. Like I said, we dream big. When we are little, we play with baby dolls. We feed them, change their "poopy" diapers and cuddle them when they cry. We carry those baby dolls everywhere with us. They have strollers, high chairs and they even have various outfit changes. I remember that my favorite baby doll when I was little was the Water Baby. You took this baby out of the box and filled it up with water. It was so life like.
As we get older, we start to figure out the "joys" of womanhood. (Some of us sooner than others.) Why in the world do we have to be bloated, moody and doubled over in pain to be considered a woman? In my opinion, we should just have to take a written test or something. As we've entered into womanhood, our baby dolls get packed away, thrown away or sold in garage sells to other little girls with big dreams.
As we get a little older, we start to realize that boys don't' have as many "cooties" as they use to. They are actually kind of normal now, like maybe they are from this planet. We search for the perfect guy. We may find him, but after a week he doesn't seem that perfect after all. Most of us spend a lot of years doing everything we can to avoid getting pregnant. Some of the smarter women just abstain from sex. Those of use who aren't so smart use condoms, spermicides, birth control or the famous "pull and pray" method. Some of use use all of those at the same time for extra protection. We put all of this effort in to avoiding pregnancy.
So this brings us to around February, 2009 when I began journaling my efforts to have a child. Why is it that when you decide to have a baby, pregnant women seem to pop up everywhere?Like suddenly the baby boom has started and you missed the memo. Your body has suddenly become a pregnant woman magnet. Everywhere you turn there is a big belly to greet you. Have there always been this many pregnant women around me and I just didn't notice? Maybe there is some kind of magical powder, or pill or feminine soap that I am not aware of. So there I sat. A 25 year old married woman with no baby bump. I had done everything right up to that point. I played with dolls, did my best to avoid getting pregnant, grew up and got married. Everyone kept telling me to not get discouraged. They would say "When you stop trying, then it will happen." How int he world can you stop trying and then get pregnant? Don't you have to have sex in order to get pregnant? Maybe my high school sex education teacher had been misinformed. Or maybe it is the magical powder or pill or feminine soap that I mentioned earlier.
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